"I will take a stand at my watchpost and station myself on the tower, and look out to see what he will say to me."- Habakkuk 2:1

I'm thinking about my "watchpost" today. Though my heart is always full of wisdom the Lord gave and vision for my future, I get frustrated sometimes when I try to live in the future or in my own timing. I constantly spend time alone in my thoughts processing my desires and dreams. Where is my time best spent? What is your definition of success for me? It's not money, unless I'm giving it away... I don't care anything of fame unless it is your fame Jesus. Your message of freedom is so powerful that it is illegal in 52 countries. How can I best show what has changed my life as I daily understand who I am because of the passion of Jesus and how it brought him to the pain of crucifixion?

I consistently remind myself of the times God has been patient and faithful and showed me clearly the way to go or opened a door for me to walk through... He made it clear to me, though I was slow to agree, to come back to NYC. All my provision (work, $$) dried up in other cities and I knew deeply in my heart that I wasn't to take an office job or something to just make money and survive. I can't be mediocre. As long as I am clearly at peace with God and on the path he has given me then I will take any risk necessary to obey. Now I must know what the commands are.... My "watchpost" is working in New York City and maximizing my free time to reflect and sit still. I will station myself here and listen to what The Lord will say. Just as Habbakuk wrote these words of surrender to God's timing I am taking them to heart. He struggled just as I do with watching the evil in the world and wondering why God wasn't interceding where there was such a wealth of social injustice and violence. Just as Habbakuk did I can boldly approach my Lord with concerns and still have courage as I glimpse God's sovereign rule and hope to trust in God's plans regarding the dark days ahead. I am encouraged by the example of honesty and boldness Habbakuk showed.

Hab. 1:1-4

"How long, O Lord, must I call for help?... Violence is everywhere but you do not come to save....Must I forever see these evil deeds? Why must I watch all of this misery? The law has become paralzed , and there is no justice in the courts. The wicked far outnumber the righteous, so that justice has become perverted."

The Lord's response to Habbakuk (1:5) is so encouraging:

"The Lord replied,

"Look around at the nations; look and be amazed!

For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn't believe

even if someone told you about it."

I promise to look around at the nations, God and see what you are doing around the world. You have not left your people suffering alone... Thank you for reminding me. Hope is always alive, even in perilous times. You have called me and others to minister to the suffering on your behalf. Give me vision for my role.